Deceptive Brain Messages

"I feel so completely ignored, attacked, criticized, lonely, abandoned and am hurting I need to find relief or I am going to lose it!".  This is a common message we can get that will lead us to a level of desperation we can't seem to ignore it or make it go away other than through watching pornography or some other unhealthy and unwanted sexual behavior.  This is what is a common feeling when dealing with a core emotional trigger.

In his book Going Deeper, Dr Capparucci lays out two techniques to combat and arrest these overwhelming feelings.  First and foremost be aware of your own levels of distress.  Throughout the day check in to see if you are emotionally (angry, stressed, frustrated), mentally (financial or work distress), spiritually (not in study, fellowship or the word), or physical (tired, feeling over weight, ache and pains, health issues).  Any of these can be an early warning sign.  Learn to check in, journal, talk others daily about life's stressors.  

The second aspect is building emotional resilience when core emotional triggers arise, the following illustrates the recommended steps.

Know your core emotional triggers


Relabel



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Reframe




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Refocus




Side note:
​(Sit in it)






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Continually revisit the triggers, more will arise over time.  They cause tremendous distress, often linked to a place, event or person and can be the launch point for "I have to get relief"
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Identify your deceptive brain messages and the uncomfortable sensations; call them what they really are.  Say out loud ‘I want to eat, drink or view something inappropriate for no reason’.

Change your perception of the importance of the deceptive brain messages; say why these thoughts, urges and impulses keep bothering you: they are false brain messages (It’s not ME, just my brain causing this compulsion, or urge, or thought).

​Direct your attention toward an activity or mental process that is wholesome and productive - even while the false and deceptive urges, thoughts, impulses and sensations are still present and bothering you.

Don't run away from the pain.  Sit in it and recognize that it is just an uncomfortable feeling (easy to say, har do to.  Consider Dr Schartz's approach here)


Remember 'what you feel isn't necessarily what is real'
​I don't need to get caught up in the emotion.  I am not going to take on the shame blanket or the hurtful comments that I am a bad person

Breathe, pray, phone a friend, take.a walk... anything healthy to move out of the distressing emotion(s).