| life_planning_guide.docx |
Life plan – Finishing the Race Well
The purpose of this document is to develop a life plan and as a guide to reflect on the past and present, sunset the unhealthy habits and shortcomings, and move towards a healthier way to live and love ourselves, our family and God. The focus is on writing a new narrative for your life, free of the obsessions and addictions and clarity about who you are today as the ‘new man’.
Most who have come to a point of desiring change found themselves off course because of a life defined by unhealthy self-centered behaviors, hiding their true self and presenting a façade of having to look good, be seen as good under a performance clouded in shame, fear, and survival.
This is a place to re-write the story of your life: how you got here, what happened and committing to following God’s will for your life. It is an opportunity to step back and cast a new vision for the next chapter, to grieve the wounds and losses that formed much of your beliefs, behaviors and shortcomings and chart the path to finish the race well.
“22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
The purpose of this document is to develop a life plan and as a guide to reflect on the past and present, sunset the unhealthy habits and shortcomings, and move towards a healthier way to live and love ourselves, our family and God. The focus is on writing a new narrative for your life, free of the obsessions and addictions and clarity about who you are today as the ‘new man’.
Most who have come to a point of desiring change found themselves off course because of a life defined by unhealthy self-centered behaviors, hiding their true self and presenting a façade of having to look good, be seen as good under a performance clouded in shame, fear, and survival.
This is a place to re-write the story of your life: how you got here, what happened and committing to following God’s will for your life. It is an opportunity to step back and cast a new vision for the next chapter, to grieve the wounds and losses that formed much of your beliefs, behaviors and shortcomings and chart the path to finish the race well.
“22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
- Ephesians 4:22-24
Life Plan - Approach
Who / why – Your Compelling Objective – who do you want to be as a ‘new man’? Why is this so important? Write the one word, phrase or sentence that is so important for the ‘new man’ that it will ground you when you are struggling most. “I am leaving a legacy for my children. I want them to see a model of someone who can come through the darkest moments of life and live a full healthy life and renewed in my faith.”
The present – write about the unhealthy behaviors, habits and shortcomings that have scared you, your family, and your relationship with God? How are these behaviors affecting your life today? What are your core emotional triggers, inner child profile, blind spots (see “Going Deeper”), and coping mechanisms?
The past– characterize the wounds (neglect, abuse, abandonment) of the past, and the people and institutions who contributed as well as the impact these had for your life. What beliefs do you hold on to from these experiences (unworthy, unlovable, not good enough)? What if any vows did you adopt that are still present today (e.g. I will never trust another person, or I have to do it all on my own).
Acceptance (Repent, forgive, grieve) – in order accept what happened and move on repent for what they have done (making amends using the 12 steps), learn to forgive: themselves, God and their perpetrators, and grieve so they may accept their losses (e.g. childhood innocence), What do you still have to repent and make amends for, who must you forgive (yourself?), and what grieving must still take place?
Mindset –You are a beloved child of God, and not defined by your unhealthy behaviors and character traits, each can be managed and changed. What doesn’t change is your true identity with God at the center. What will it take for you to adopt the mindset of ‘the new you’? What new traits (confidence, humility, vulnerability, presence, awareness), habits and routines will be the cornerstone of the new man?
Goals / Commitments – what are your goals and commitments to honoring God, your spouse, your family, and yourself in healthy constructive ways? What are the tools, books, talks, podcasts, meetings, fellowship groups that you will employ in your recovery? What will it take to adopt the new mindset?
The Team – most men who suffer from addictions do it in the dark on their own, to recover they will do it in community and fellowship. Who will be on your team (recovery groups, spiritual advisor, coach/therapist, accountability partner, person who knows everything)? Who can you count on, who will know everything about you, who can see into your pain?
The Tools – what fellowship will you join? How tools and resources will you embed in your daily routines (meditation, breathing, prayer, devotions, journaling, managing CET’s). Click here to see a full list of tools.
Life Plan - Approach
Who / why – Your Compelling Objective – who do you want to be as a ‘new man’? Why is this so important? Write the one word, phrase or sentence that is so important for the ‘new man’ that it will ground you when you are struggling most. “I am leaving a legacy for my children. I want them to see a model of someone who can come through the darkest moments of life and live a full healthy life and renewed in my faith.”
The present – write about the unhealthy behaviors, habits and shortcomings that have scared you, your family, and your relationship with God? How are these behaviors affecting your life today? What are your core emotional triggers, inner child profile, blind spots (see “Going Deeper”), and coping mechanisms?
The past– characterize the wounds (neglect, abuse, abandonment) of the past, and the people and institutions who contributed as well as the impact these had for your life. What beliefs do you hold on to from these experiences (unworthy, unlovable, not good enough)? What if any vows did you adopt that are still present today (e.g. I will never trust another person, or I have to do it all on my own).
Acceptance (Repent, forgive, grieve) – in order accept what happened and move on repent for what they have done (making amends using the 12 steps), learn to forgive: themselves, God and their perpetrators, and grieve so they may accept their losses (e.g. childhood innocence), What do you still have to repent and make amends for, who must you forgive (yourself?), and what grieving must still take place?
Mindset –You are a beloved child of God, and not defined by your unhealthy behaviors and character traits, each can be managed and changed. What doesn’t change is your true identity with God at the center. What will it take for you to adopt the mindset of ‘the new you’? What new traits (confidence, humility, vulnerability, presence, awareness), habits and routines will be the cornerstone of the new man?
Goals / Commitments – what are your goals and commitments to honoring God, your spouse, your family, and yourself in healthy constructive ways? What are the tools, books, talks, podcasts, meetings, fellowship groups that you will employ in your recovery? What will it take to adopt the new mindset?
The Team – most men who suffer from addictions do it in the dark on their own, to recover they will do it in community and fellowship. Who will be on your team (recovery groups, spiritual advisor, coach/therapist, accountability partner, person who knows everything)? Who can you count on, who will know everything about you, who can see into your pain?
The Tools – what fellowship will you join? How tools and resources will you embed in your daily routines (meditation, breathing, prayer, devotions, journaling, managing CET’s). Click here to see a full list of tools.
My Life Plan (Example)
Who – I strive to love and serve God, my spouse, and my family each day with the gifts He has given me, and to be eternally grateful for His saving grace. I work daily to grow in my faith walk and physical and emotional health and to see each day’s challenges as a blessing and each relationship as an opportunity to share God’s love. I cherish each moment of joy, and seek to accept life’s challenges and support others in their tragedies.
Present – I wake each day to spend time in prayer, meditation and scripture to guide me each day to remain present, loving and focused on God’s will. I am in recovery from a set of damaging behaviors and blind spots and committed to employing the necessary tools, resources and fellowship(s) to maintain my emotional, physical and spiritual well-being so that I may be the best father, husband, grandfather, brother, uncle and friend I can be.
Past – I grew up in a dysfunctional home experiencing a great deal of neglect and significant negative and traumatic events that led me to develop very unhealthy coping strategies and addictions.
Acceptance – through these past years of grieving I have been able to forgive myself, my parents and others including God (which sounds strange, but I blamed Him at times for allowing all this to happen). I have repented to those I have harmed so very deeply and continue to do my best at a living amends and show that I am a new man in my faith and life.
Renewed mindset – I am a healthy, loving, honest, caring, supportive and compassionate, husband, father, grandfather, brother and friend. I will turn away from the lies of the enemy, from the condemnation of others, and turn towards the truth: that God loves me, He sent His son to save me and that the Holy Spirit is with me.
Goals / Commitment(s) – I am committed to maintaining my sobriety and truth, to being present, open, loving and vulnerable, to following God’s commandments and seeking wisdom in scripture. I commit to supporting my wife in all aspects of life and her healing. I will leave a legacy of showing my children and grandchildren that God’s redemption is real and that turning a life around – regardless of the depth we fall – is possible through His love, grace and mercy.
My Team – I am incredibly blessed with a wife who has stayed with me through the absolute worst of times, with many men and sponsors in fellowship who I can share anything with, great therapists, and accountability partners who help keep me on track and help me figure out ‘the next right thing’ when life throws me a curve ball.
My tools – I read scripture, pray, meditate, journal, attend 12 step meetings, do counseling sessions, sponsor others, keep in touch with others in recovery several times a week, read and listen to helpful books and podcasts that provide additional insights and tools for my journey.
Who – I strive to love and serve God, my spouse, and my family each day with the gifts He has given me, and to be eternally grateful for His saving grace. I work daily to grow in my faith walk and physical and emotional health and to see each day’s challenges as a blessing and each relationship as an opportunity to share God’s love. I cherish each moment of joy, and seek to accept life’s challenges and support others in their tragedies.
Present – I wake each day to spend time in prayer, meditation and scripture to guide me each day to remain present, loving and focused on God’s will. I am in recovery from a set of damaging behaviors and blind spots and committed to employing the necessary tools, resources and fellowship(s) to maintain my emotional, physical and spiritual well-being so that I may be the best father, husband, grandfather, brother, uncle and friend I can be.
Past – I grew up in a dysfunctional home experiencing a great deal of neglect and significant negative and traumatic events that led me to develop very unhealthy coping strategies and addictions.
Acceptance – through these past years of grieving I have been able to forgive myself, my parents and others including God (which sounds strange, but I blamed Him at times for allowing all this to happen). I have repented to those I have harmed so very deeply and continue to do my best at a living amends and show that I am a new man in my faith and life.
Renewed mindset – I am a healthy, loving, honest, caring, supportive and compassionate, husband, father, grandfather, brother and friend. I will turn away from the lies of the enemy, from the condemnation of others, and turn towards the truth: that God loves me, He sent His son to save me and that the Holy Spirit is with me.
Goals / Commitment(s) – I am committed to maintaining my sobriety and truth, to being present, open, loving and vulnerable, to following God’s commandments and seeking wisdom in scripture. I commit to supporting my wife in all aspects of life and her healing. I will leave a legacy of showing my children and grandchildren that God’s redemption is real and that turning a life around – regardless of the depth we fall – is possible through His love, grace and mercy.
My Team – I am incredibly blessed with a wife who has stayed with me through the absolute worst of times, with many men and sponsors in fellowship who I can share anything with, great therapists, and accountability partners who help keep me on track and help me figure out ‘the next right thing’ when life throws me a curve ball.
My tools – I read scripture, pray, meditate, journal, attend 12 step meetings, do counseling sessions, sponsor others, keep in touch with others in recovery several times a week, read and listen to helpful books and podcasts that provide additional insights and tools for my journey.
My Life Plan - This is where you will build - Your Plan
Who
Present
Past
Acceptance
Goals / Commitment(s)
Renewed mindset
My Team
Who
Present
Past
Acceptance
Goals / Commitment(s)
Renewed mindset
My Team
My assessment Results
Below are example charts from the HEXACO assessment available on this website. You can complete this assessment by clicking here. You can see the descriptions of the results from this assessment by clicking here. The assessment provides analysis of six core traits researchers have found that best describe an individual and is based on "The Big Five" assessment that was developed in the 1940's. Results will be sent via email.
Below are example charts from the HEXACO assessment available on this website. You can complete this assessment by clicking here. You can see the descriptions of the results from this assessment by clicking here. The assessment provides analysis of six core traits researchers have found that best describe an individual and is based on "The Big Five" assessment that was developed in the 1940's. Results will be sent via email.
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The Six Traits Assessment
Humility, Emotionality, Extroversion, Conscientious Agreeable and Openness |
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This chart shows the 25 facets that make up the six traits, organized by the six traits.
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This chart shows the scores from the assessment of all 25 traits sorted highest to lowest
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