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Recalibrating emotions
Basic tactics This document is designed to offer essential tools for the early stages of recovery. Life creates stress, and a strong desire to find escapes. These tools help address immediate issues that may arise from the events of life, and build resilience over time, by calming the emotions that may arise over time. The exercises below are a starting point on this journey. It’s important to have the support of accountability partners, coaches, and counselors—while adopting and maintaining these practices. ___________________________________________ Breathing techniques Breathing techniques help manage short-term emotional disturbances by directly influencing the autonomic nervous system (ANS), particularly the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which is responsible for the body’s “rest and digest” response. During periods of stress or emotional distress, the sympathetic nervous system (SNS)—the “fight or flight” system—becomes dominant, leading to increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and heightened anxiety. By consciously altering the breathing pattern, such as slowing down the breath or extending the exhale, these techniques activate the PNS. This helps to:
In the short term, breathing exercises can quickly de-escalate intense emotions, such as anxiety, anger, or panic, and help regain control over one’s physiological state. Long-Term Benefits and Building Resilience in the Autonomic Nervous System Over time, regular practice of breathing techniques helps build resilience in the autonomic nervous system by improving the balance between the SNS and PNS. This long-term resilience is achieved through:
Common Breathing Techniques 4-7-8 Breathing: How to Perform:
Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing: How to Perform: Place one hand on the chest and the other on the belly. Inhale deeply through the nose, allowing the diaphragm (and belly) to expand, while the chest remains still. Exhale slowly through the mouth. Continue for several minutes. Box Breathing (Square Breathing): How to Perform: Inhale for a count of 4, Hold the breath for a count of 4, Exhale for a count of 4, Hold the breath again for a count of 4, Repeat the cycle. Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana): How to Perform: Close the right nostril with the thumb, Inhale through the left nostril, Close the left nostril with the ring finger, release the thumb, and exhale through the right nostril, Inhale through the right nostril, then close it and exhale through the left nostril, Repeat the cycle. Breathing techniques like 4-7-8, diaphragmatic breathing, and box breathing provide immediate relief from emotional disturbances by calming the nervous system and reducing the stress response. Long-term practice builds resilience in the autonomic nervous system by improving vagal tone, HRV, and emotional regulation, leading to better overall stress management and emotional health. ___________________________________________ Turning away from disturbing thoughts Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz’s four-step approach is a cognitive-behavioral technique designed to help individuals manage and overcome deceptive brain messages, which are unhelpful or unhealthy thoughts, urges, or impulses that can lead to negative behaviors and emotional distress. This method is particularly effective for conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) but can also be applied to other mental health challenges. Four-Step Approach:
Why Schwartz Suggests This Technique Works: Dr. Schwartz’s approach is rooted in the concept of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change and rewire itself in response to new experiences and behaviors. By consistently applying the four steps, individuals can weaken the old, unhealthy brain circuits that produce deceptive messages and strengthen new, healthier circuits that align with their true values and goals. The technique works because it combines mindfulness with behavioral modification, helping individuals become more aware of their thoughts and take control of their responses. Through repetition and refocusing, the brain gradually rewires itself, reducing the impact of deceptive brain messages and promoting healthier thought patterns and behaviors. In summary, Schwartz’s four-step approach helps individuals manage and ultimately overcome unhelpful brain processes by leveraging the brain’s natural capacity for change, promoting healing, and fostering a sense of control over one’s mental and emotional life. ___________________________________________ Mindfulness Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, is an evidence-based program designed to help individuals manage stress, pain, and various psychological challenges through mindfulness practices. MBSR integrates mindfulness meditation, body awareness, and yoga to cultivate a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It is widely used in healthcare, education, and corporate settings to promote mental and physical well-being. The method offers a comprehensive approach to managing stress and improving well-being through mindfulness practices like meditation, body awareness, and mindful movement. Mindfulness Meditation - Participants are guided to focus on their breath, bodily sensations, thoughts, or emotions with a non-judgmental awareness. Types of Meditation:
Resources for MBSR Guided Meditations: Available in audio or video formats to help with meditation, body scan, and mindful movement practices (many on youtube). Books: Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn’s books, such as “Full Catastrophe Living” and “Wherever You Go, There You Are,” are foundational texts for MBSR practice. Workshops and Retreats: In-person or online MBSR courses and retreats are available for immersive learning experiences. Apps: Various mindfulness apps offer guided meditations and mindfulness practices based on MBSR principles. There are both short term benefits including reduced stress, improved focus, better emotional regulation (critical in recovery), improved physical well being, and long term benefits including increased resilience, reduced anxiety, improved self awareness (critical for inner child work). _________________________________________ Feel the feelings ... it's ok! One of the fundamental aspects of emotional well-being is acknowledging that it's perfectly okay to recognize, experience, express, and engage with feelings. Many have never been taught how to effectively acknowledge and process our emotions. Our human experience is a gift from God, and it naturally involves a wide range of emotions. Suppressing, downplaying, denying, judging, criticizing, bottling up, avoiding, or medicating to cope with our emotions is counterproductive in both the short and long term. These practices only add to our stress and anxiety levels and lead to unhealthy responses and behaviors with alcohol, pornography, food and many other forms of relief. To truly embrace the full life that God has intended for us, we must be willing to explore and experience the entire spectrum of human emotions. The secret to help arresting this cycle of behavior is - ‘just feel the feelings’. Here are simple steps to help you on this journey: Step 1: Awareness - notice the feeling. Take a deep breath in and out to center yourself. Then, turn inward and ask, "What feelings am I experiencing right now?" Pay attention to any physical sensations that you're experiencing. For example, you might be able to discern anger due to a tight sensation in your chest, or notice fear because of a jittery feeling in your hands or legs. Step 2: Say it out loud. Putting your emotions into words makes them easier to manage. How would you describe your emotional experience right now: annoyance, anger, envy, fear, disgust, disappointment, sadness, grief or something else? The more specific, the better. Describe the feeling out loud with a phrase like, "I am experiencing disappointment right now and feel really sad, and am hurting”. Step 3: Acceptance. Growing up, many of us were taught to suppress, ignore or hide our emotions. So as an adult, your first instinct might still be to minimize, ignore or stuff them. You may think, "It's wrong to feel that emotion." Research has found that suppressing our emotions can have negative consequences for both physical and mental well-being. Instead, we want to accept it. This emotion is offering you the opportunity to make a different, healthier choice. Vocalizing the feeling is an important way to minimize the power over the emotion and release the ensuing stress or need for relief. Step 4: Be with the feeling. Once you've acknowledged the emotion, embrace it and allow yourself to fully immerse in the feeling. Neurologists and experts propose that the physical sensation of an emotion typically endures for approximately 90 seconds. Make a commitment to remain with the emotion for this minute-and-a-half duration, providing it with your undivided focus. Otherwise, there is a risk of lingering emotions, such as enduring resentment and bitterness. Step 5: Stay with the feeling until it changes. At a certain point, you will notice that the feeling has changed. You might now feel calmer, like a storm has passed. You also might notice another feeling emerging in its place. This is a sign that you allowed yourself to fully experience the emotion. If the emotions persist, you can use breathing techniques to the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (see appendix). Step 6: Reflect on the belief. Research has shown that we have thousands of thoughts per day and the majority of them are negative. Being able to pause and reflect provides you the time to determine the source of the feeling. For example you may feel like an interaction with a coworker was really troubling because s/he was overbearing, and as you reflect on it you recall that you were bullied as a child and this brings up hurt filled memories and contributes tot he potency of the feeling. Summary Pivotal apps are provided as tools and techniques to help change the trajectory of negative and destructive thinking, habits, routines and behaviors. We have afflictions that lead us to unhealthy behaviors as adults to overcome lingering emotional wounds that were forged in the crucible of childhood experience. These apps are a resource to help you live life, grow and strengthen your emotional resilience, humility and vulnerability. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique Have you ever experienced it? That constriction in your chest, a relentless loop of thoughts racing through your mind? This sensation, known as anxiety, is surprisingly common and can affect people from all walks of life. It can be disconcerting and uncomfortable, often striking without warning. So, why do so many of us grapple with this distressing feeling? The reality is that most people never acquire the skills to cope with it. As discussed in the previous section, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can assist in understanding the root causes of anxiety, allowing for their gradual elimination. However, there are occasions when you require an immediate remedy for emotional overwhelm. In such instances, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique emerges as a valuable tool. This approach aims to provide a diverting and playful distraction to reduce stress, anxiety, and manage intense emotions. Here's how it functions:
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